The Chaste Manifesto and Femdom and Female Led Relationships

How the Manifesto's philosophy applies to Femdom

Photo by Cord Allman on Unsplash

Over on the Chastity Training subreddit, “Newbie-Sub” posted a detailed response to my Chaste Manifesto. He found it “sustainable” with caveats, but wanted to know how it fitted with a Femdom lifestyle:

I don’t understand why the Manifesto draws the line at the penis. It feels like it stops short of what it’s truly advocating for: male selflessness. I want to be spanked. Jenn can take it or leave it and she only does it for me.

While the Manifesto seems silent on something like this, I feel if taken to its conclusion, it would advocate for me just shutting up about it. But for me, that’s too far.

In our dynamic, I strive to give her a 50s country-club wife lifestyle where she has few day to day worries. Few things give me more pleasure than coming home after work and seeing the tell-tales that she’s done nothing but watch TV, talk to her sister, and do her nails. I think the spankings, nuzzling, and the like are part and parcel with that.

Do I need to separate the chastity aspect of our dynamic in my mind from the gentle femdom dynamic? Where chastity is something where I just give and expect nothing in return but the other kink aspects of our marriage is a partnership and even a somewhat transactional one (I clean, you spank)?

(Quoted with permission)

The short answer is “no”, but a longer answer might be more helpful.

What the Chaste Manifesto is and isn’t

The Chaste Manifesto is very specifically about making Male Chastity work in a het relationship with the low bar of not pissing off the wife or girlfriend.

As Newbie-Sub put it:

It’s really that simple, isn’t it? I just need to shut up and let my wife do what she wants.

That is a low bar, but it’s horrifying how many men fail to clear it!

This is a pity because, if you can manage the trick of making your chastity fetish not actually annoying, some good things may follow.

If she’s neutral or uninterested, she may discover that she enjoys some of the benefits of your chastity, even if it’s just a break from you being “always on” sexually.

If she already privately or even unconsciously enjoys those aspects, then now is her chance to secretly embrace them without the spotlight of your obsession making them evaporate like snowflakes.

And, if she’s actually kinky, then this is a way of enabling her to enjoy your chastity on her terms without it all becoming too much fuss or overhead.

That’s why the Manifesto is so stark and extreme. It’s also why the chastity isn’t tied to anything else, especially including a Female Led Relationship. (In theory, at least, you could be Sir Toppy Alpha Wolf Master Husband and still be a Chaste.)

Even so, the Virgo-Chaste relationship is not actually non-reciprocal.

You get to wear a chastity cage and experience various exquisite frustrations and masochistic adventures. In return, she puts up with you wearing it at times when sexual things aren’t on her mind and maybe enjoys some of the benefits of you being chaste.

The reciprocity is masked because it’s self-contained. You get chastity in return for your chastity. She gets your chastity in return for permitting your chastity.

However, what’s really going on is to do with roles.

(Unlocks Sunday.)