Unlocking the Orgasm Gap: Why the Male Chastity Fetish is Coming (and Some Men Aren't) #nsfw

What will happen when the 70% of women who don't orgasm through penetration discover that a significant minority of men can be persuaded to wear a male chastity device?

Down in the steamy BDSM internet, posts like this are becoming increasingly common:

“Help! I introduced my wife to male chastity, now she won’t unlock me!”

We’re also starting to see the female counterpart, mostly younger women gleefully discovering dominance:

“How to I make my boyfriend stay locked longer? How long CAN I keep him locked without harm?”

I’m talking about the growing fetish for male chastity devices. Here’s an example from my friends at Custom Chastity:

Example Male Chastity Device from Custom Chastity

You stick your tackle through the base ring. The tube goes over your penis and locks in place. Yes, you can pull your manhood out the back (psychologically harder than you’d think). However, you can’t remove the device without the key, so there will be no actual sexual cheating, and cheating through masturbation is going to be both uncomfortable and demeaning… and require lying to your partner with a straight face.

Most importantly, it’s really hard to get out of a chastity device when you are aroused. So if “sex” starts with no penis, then it probably finishes that way too… or to be more exact; she finishes, but he doesn’t. The weird thing is that “he”, well, we male chastity fetishists rather like it when that happens.

Male chastity devices go back to Victorian (or even Roman) times, but the modern “ball grippers” first became a thing in the 1990s and spread like wildfire across the kinky internet.

Since then, male chastity devices have reared their… um… head on TV shows like Californication, and featured in various magazines. However, they broke into the mainstream consciousness with the Blue Tooth Chastity Scandal, which even made the august website of the BBC!

(In case you forgot, what happened is that the Cellmate, a cutting-edge Internet of Things male chastity device, turned out to be very (digitally) insecure indeed. The resulting security breach left an awful lot of men stuck in their devices.)

Stunningly, the exposed data revealed — according to Pen Test Partners — an estimated 40,000 devices in use.

So here’s my Giles Equation (Like the Drake Equation, but for male chastity):

1. Cellmate is only rarely ever discussed in the chastity forums, suggesting that it’s a very niche product with much less than 5% of the market share. It follows that the total number of active male chastity users is at least twenty times that… taking it to very close to 1 Million.

2. Guess that a third of these are in the USA, which has a military-age male population of roughly 60M.

3. 0.33 Million divided by 60 Million gives us 0.5% of men are serious chastity users.

4. The 80/20 rule suggests that the total number of users will be 5 times the number of enthusiasts.

5. 0.5% times 5 gives us 2.5% of men in Western countries have a male chastity device.

For comparison, 2.5% is roughly the same percentage of adults identifying as Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual in a recent UK survey.

How many gay men do you know?

You probably know the same number of chastity cage owners.

Probably.

Even more men are potential chastity users; something like half of Western men at least fantasise about being dominated.

That’s the male side of the equation. I haven’t talked about why. For now it’s enough to know that perhaps 1% of men will be overjoyed to be asked to wear a chastity device, and maybe 50% can perhaps be persuaded by a suitably pushy woman.

Now the female half of the equation.

Most women don’t get much from penis-in-vagina sex.

The elephant in the room of human sexuality is that most women don’t get much from penis-in-vagina sex.

The thing we call “foreplay”? It’s like giving a car with a flat battery a really good push up a hill then letting go just before the crest and getting really excited that one time it freewheeled over the top and rolled down the other side.

OK, there are some enthusiastic lady shag bunnies — possibly disproportionately represented online.

However the clue is in the way lesbian strap-on sex doesn’t happen so very much.

Fewer than 20% of lesbians make regular use of penetrative sex toys, and — a quick glance at some online dildo vendors suggests that — not all of them will even look like penises. When women have sex without men involved, there’s not much call for a substitute penis.

This tallies with recent studies of women who do have sex with men. 50% of them occasionally get off on penetration, 20% of them don’t. Pretty much all of them dislike the pressure to orgasm via penetration.

That’s a stunning 70% of women who merely tolerate the penis in the vagina.

Yes, there are lots of good reasons for that toleration. However, judging from the gazillion “how to revive your married sex life” books on Amazon, we can speculate that these wear thin over time.

There are also plenty of women who actively dislike penetration. 10% of women experience painful sex, and 40% have experienced painful sex at some point. Maybe 0.5% have actual Vaginismus, though the real figure could be ten times that number.

Then there are the ones below the medical radar, who dislike penetration because it’s all mess and sweat and intrusion for no reward. They’re the same women who, when young, dabbled in lesbianism, or made their boyfriends wear speedos in bed — this really happens! — while hiding behind some variation of “true love waits”.

To me, this looks like a perfect storm.

At least half of women have vibrators, why shouldn’t their willing boyfriends have chastity devices? Though the primarily male motivation is kink, a chastity device is also plausibly the male equivalent of a vibrator. Whereas women need help getting to an orgasm, men need help delaying theirs so they can enjoy a plateau phase.

Just by chance alone, you’d expect a third of couples to have a chastity device in their toy box (70% x 50%), and that doesn’t take into account the way people pair off according to sexual compatibility.

Of course, though a surprising number of modern people do at least some kink, male chastity devices are not yet as common as vibrators. However, it seems obvious that this will change as the word gets out…

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