4 Comments

Thank you dear Sir, this Black Box series is really helping me. Like you, but as a full time slave, I get a lot of questions like "How do I get my husband to be my Master?" and simialr questions. This is helping me in having an organized response!

Expand full comment

If it's helpful, my generic response to all such queries is along the lines of:

"Identify *vanilla* things your partner *already likes* that can be *unreasonably* improved through kink, and deliver them."

Expand full comment

This feels very complicated but one thing I can confirm from the other side: once upon a time when I did experiment with chastity play (it was mostly remote play, AND the dude had one of those remote controlled devices which went hilariously wrong a few months later, so once he gave me the authority to use it it was very genuine, he could NOT unlock for real) the one thing that FINALLY decided me to stop trying was his whining and bugging me for unlocking.

Oddly, or not at all oddly at all in the circumstances, it wasn't driven by a desperation to get himself off but what seemed like sub-panic fear/freaking out.

But. One day we actually were meeting in person briefly and after a short and pretty much aborted (he was hungover and couldn't deal with much at all tho the squeals were sort of fun, but fun squeals don't override the risk of puke on my boots) play I snapped the stupid device on his dick. I'd already been given the authorisation in the app. And WITHIN ONE FUCKING HOUR of my leaving he was frantically messaging me freaking out and requesting I unlock him. I really wish I had been driving by then, but I took mercy -- and never played with the whole contraption again.

Obviously it's very different with a trusted, live in partner.

But it's not COMPLETELY different: obviously different women have different preferences and it's quite possible some fans of chds want detailed experience accounts. But I suspect this is more of a "reaction junkie" thing applicable to let's say physical sadism (but I'm biased). I'm recalling another experience with a remote playmate in a non locked device. He had some sort of episode / freakout while driving and while the sheer intensity of it was interesting the excruciating detail was not hot at all. Boring boring and annoying because the very reporting of it felt like I was obliged to see to it somehow. Whether practically advise or emotionally reassure idk. But again, off-putting experience. I can easily imagine this kind of thing being MORE annoying and boring and feeling like work if the source couldn't be just shut in the phone text messenger and was hanging around in my meatspace.

So the commandment for the wearer to cover ALL technicalities and anatomicalities of the operation himself feels like the first foundation step in the game. Unless you have an active fan of chds who delights in choosing and fitting and breaking them in. But then you're not reading advice articles or comment threads under them.

Expand full comment

Yes!

Expand full comment