I think the diaphragm approach edging towards (and I'm not going to even pretend to apologise for the pun) the IUD approach is a really good idea for *men who are into chastity AND happy with their kink/sexuality -- not their orgasm, their sexuality -- not only not being centred but being kinda almost dismissed out of the picture, being satisfied (not necessarily by orgasm) only accidentally*.
But I also think that you might be overestimating the number of such men. While I have no experience living with a chastity fetishist, so might be different in a committed LTR, my apprehension about potential "work" generated by going along with the kink (any kink) that in theory is for my advantage is always the same: that I'll need to "pay" for it. Not even necessarily because of male sexual entitlement, and even less, the expectation of an orgasm, but because of deeply entrenched "reciprocity principle". I've had the same thing with women actually (maybe more, even).
Now, HOW I might be expected to reciprocate varies wildly by person and kink, but in the case of chastity it seems to be expectation of ACTIVE TEASING, actively engaging or acknowledging the cage, denial, his abject state etc. Ignoring the cage seems least acceptable an option (in the same way "I don't care about your orgasm" usually is supposed to mean active denial, not a shrug of "whatever"). Obviously all those things can be fun and hot, but the operative word is "can". Once expected, they stop being fun, and frankly, just letting a dude come might be less work altogether.
Yes exactly! That's why this specifically how to get a non-teasing partner to be "crueller", with the possibility of just doing this part-time.
So, maybe in an ideal world the aspiring "locked hubby" would like to be teased and actively denied, but he's not realistically going to get that. The next best thing is - on the nights when they do do chastity - to at least be denied because it suits her. Getting to that point involves not doing all the annoying things that you list.
But also, in long term kinky relationships involving chastity, this seems to be the long term trend. If she's at all into having him locked up, the locked part, rather than the power of the key, is likely to be the selling point.
I think the diaphragm approach edging towards (and I'm not going to even pretend to apologise for the pun) the IUD approach is a really good idea for *men who are into chastity AND happy with their kink/sexuality -- not their orgasm, their sexuality -- not only not being centred but being kinda almost dismissed out of the picture, being satisfied (not necessarily by orgasm) only accidentally*.
But I also think that you might be overestimating the number of such men. While I have no experience living with a chastity fetishist, so might be different in a committed LTR, my apprehension about potential "work" generated by going along with the kink (any kink) that in theory is for my advantage is always the same: that I'll need to "pay" for it. Not even necessarily because of male sexual entitlement, and even less, the expectation of an orgasm, but because of deeply entrenched "reciprocity principle". I've had the same thing with women actually (maybe more, even).
Now, HOW I might be expected to reciprocate varies wildly by person and kink, but in the case of chastity it seems to be expectation of ACTIVE TEASING, actively engaging or acknowledging the cage, denial, his abject state etc. Ignoring the cage seems least acceptable an option (in the same way "I don't care about your orgasm" usually is supposed to mean active denial, not a shrug of "whatever"). Obviously all those things can be fun and hot, but the operative word is "can". Once expected, they stop being fun, and frankly, just letting a dude come might be less work altogether.
Yes exactly! That's why this specifically how to get a non-teasing partner to be "crueller", with the possibility of just doing this part-time.
So, maybe in an ideal world the aspiring "locked hubby" would like to be teased and actively denied, but he's not realistically going to get that. The next best thing is - on the nights when they do do chastity - to at least be denied because it suits her. Getting to that point involves not doing all the annoying things that you list.
But also, in long term kinky relationships involving chastity, this seems to be the long term trend. If she's at all into having him locked up, the locked part, rather than the power of the key, is likely to be the selling point.