Smart Chastity Cages and Locked Straight Dating: The Next 10 Years of Male Chastity

How sextech might shape the future of male chastity devices

Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

Locked dating is already a thing, but it’s locked gay dating.

In many areas, if you are a man who has sex with men then you can go out locked, or seek a locked hookup or partner, and there’s no stigma. Most importantly, you can be “out” as locked, so even vanilla partners can find you.

In the next ten years, this is going to leak — drip — into the straight dating world.

For a start, there’s definitely a demand for it. From the experience of the gay community, maybe about 5% of men would like to be locked if it were feasible, and it’s plausible that half that number already own a chastity cage.

Meanwhile, only 20% of straight women are penis enthusiasts, and at least 10% dislike penetrative sex. These penis-refusers still have sex drives though, and want relationships. Recently - I won’t link to it - some vaginismus sufferers started working on a dating site designed to match them up with men with small penises. Maybe some of them would like to match with locked men on conventional dating sites? I certainly know of one couple like that.

It’s the perfect storm waiting to happen.

The rise of Side Demiwoman and Locked Demiman

That perfect storm can only happen if the ick — the stigma — of kink can be overcome. There are two reasons why this is going to happen.

The first reason is simply that penetration-averse women will discover the male chastity through porn. Women like watching gay porn. Sooner or later they’ll see gay porn involving a locked man and make the connection. Then it’s just a matter of finding a straight chaste, which will be easer because of the second reason.

The second reason is that chastity will stop being seen as primarily kinky.

Here me out.

(Unlocks at the weekend… unlike me.)

Modern gender identities include concepts like demiboy and demiman “…in which one's gender is partially male, and partially another gender(s).” (source)

That doesn’t currently imply being locked in chastity, but it could come to. Or locked boi could join the roster of gender identities, because really it does look awfully like a gender.

Demiwomen is the female counterpart, not currently related to aversion to penises… but it could come to. Or maybe some other term could develop, since Virgo, like Chaste, looks awfully like a gender identity.

It’s also possible that terms for Virgo and Chaste will emerge from the expanding range of sexual orientations. Maybe not out of asexual — that seems to result in a spanking. However, there’s another term… side.

“Side” has been around for a decade, meaning “neither top nor bottom because no penetration”. It was originally coined for gay men — it’s a Grindr option! — but was quickly given a wider application, and these days seems to be increasingly applied to women. Maybe we’ll see terms like “fem side” and “locked side”, or “demiwoman” side and “locked demiman”.

However identity and words for it play out, locked men will enter straight dating culture simply because gay and straight culture are meeting in the melting pot of Queer. A vast number of young people — maybe even 50% — don’t identify as straight. Even if most of them end up in conventional het relationships, it means a much, much wider exposure to gay culture, including vocabulary for describing locked men and the partners who like them that way.

The end result is that women who do men but not dick will be able to put “side demiwoman seeking locked demiman” in their bio, and then find one.

This is going to be great.

Anything that adds to the sum of human happiness is good, and it’s wonderful and sexy to imagine our younger counterparts having an easier time.

There will also be benefits for middle-aged chastity folk. If you’re single, dating will be easier. If you’re paired off, you have validation and a way to talk about yourselves.

There’s also the practical benefit that as soon as chastity is framed in terms of identity rather than fetish, security screening and concealment become less of an issue.

And then there’s the improvements to chastity technology itself…

Better muzzling and sealing

Because of (on average) the physical power imbalance between men and women, muzzling will be even more critical to side demiwoman than to men who like locked bois. For a Virgo, a chastity device that comes off easily during “sex” is useless as potentially scary as when a vanilla partner whips off his condom.

The current technology for muzzling is a piercing such that you can’t tear off your chastity device without also tearing your cock. Alas, penis piercings take too long to heal, sometimes migrate, and usually leak pee. It’s not something you’d do on whim, and if you did do it on whim — say to impress a (side demi)girl — you’d still have to wait months before you could install a chastity device in it.

That’s going to change!

Somebody has already experimented with laser piercing, which seems to cause fewer problems and have a faster healing time. There’s also the promise of nanotech wound healing. Maybe other piercing technologies will solve the leaking problem — imagine if you could have a grommet that the flesh grew into?

However, what’s more likely is something along the lines of the TetherSpout:

Badass Workroom

The TetherSpout is basically a mushroom shaped metal tube that lodges in the cavity behind the head of your penis. It’s anchored the same way a piercing is, but goes in via an existing hole, meaning no piercings, and no healing time.

Users report being able to keep a TetherSpout in indefinitely. However, I don’t think the technology is ready for the mass market! The procedure for installing it is fiddly and potentially dangerous.

But imagine something 3D printed in smart materials? The medical profession can already install a stent in your bladder. It’s just a matter of time before a kinky inventor works out how to do the same in your dick.

JMUNROO / Wikipedia - Jmunroo / Wikipedia

Better sealing and neutering

As soon as the side demiwoman — the Virgo from my first article in this series — goes beyond hookups and casual dating, the other aspects of security will be equally critical.

She wants her partner sealed — unable to secretly escape — so she need not worry about him being tempted by opportunities for conventional sex. Fortunately, whatever resolves the muzzling problem makes that a done deal.

Her other need is more difficult. She wants her partner neutered — unable to orgasm — because otherwise she’ll feel as if she’s competing with porn or anal masturbation.

Unfortunately, preventing the male orgasm is the hard problem of male chastity (this deserves an article of its own).

However, if you can’t prevent the male orgasm, maybe you can detect it?

Accountability through Orgasm Detection

The good news is that your wearable probably already knows when you’ve had an orgasm, or at least it can spot moments when your heart rate goes up but you aren’t racking up step count to match

There’s also already a lot of interest in biometric orgasm detection, including a weird techbro crypto-related attempt to use biometrics to track sexual activity which doesn’t seem to have gone anywhere. We can expect more sustainable progress from the medical community, who want non-intrusive ways to monitor sexual function, and — naturally — from geeks interested in automatic edging machines.

So, we’re close to turning our smart watches into purity monitors set to report back to keyholders, or just upload the information to a site similar to emlalock. The snag is that the watch will have to remain on for however long we are locked.

Sooner or later, somebody is going to build a smart chastity cage with onboard sensors. It’s a natural next step from the bluetooth chastity device. Like them, it will have an electronic lock. Otherwise, it will be based on existing sex tech, for example something like the (failed?) i.con smart condom project, or the male equivalent of the Lioness smart vibrator.

A control panel on a phone app will display statistics like “time since last orgasm/removal” and “time left on session.” To make it even more self-contained, it could have an LED display mirroring this.

The Impact of the Smart Chastity Cage

So the Smart Chastity Cage:

• Installs almost instantly.

• Anchors in your urethra and is inescapable.

• Detects orgasm.

• Has an electronic lock with countdown timer.

• Shares relevant stats.

• Is expensive.

• Causes no issues with security screening (because chaste is an identity).

This is pretty much the killer app for chastity couples. It’s a shrink-wrapped solution to suit a Virgo, but doesn’t prevent a Keyholder from granting an orgasm should she wish.

It would also satisfy the gearhead Chastecell and give him stats to share for boasting rights, plus selfies showing the built-in timer.

And it will revolutionise chaste dating and relationships.

First and foremost, it will resolve questions of trust.

Women experimenting with the chaste dating scene can be confident that their dates will be as advertised. Virgos —side demiwomen — and keyholders in ongoing relationships won’t need to have faith in their partner’s honesty.

It will also create a feedback loop encouraging chastes to spend longer and longer locked, partly as a form of costly signalling, but also to avoid sharing the precise time of their last orgasm, partnered or otherwise.

If you have only have two weeks on your chastity clock, there’s nothing to show you can sustain the long haul. Worse, every time your new partner sees the display on your device, she’ll imagine you jacking off or fucking somebody else two weeks ago. Two years, however…

The more men stay locked, the more male chastity will be confirmed as more than a dating preference, and more like a gender or sexual identity.

So the decade after next is chaste, for maybe 5% of us…

Next week I’m going to tackle why orgasm prevention is the Hard Problem of Male Chastity.

See all on Future Chastity.

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Check out one possible future of chastity…