I sorta skipped the numbers part. But I think the gist holds anyway. The biggest issue with the "police the ecosystem" idea is that (1) people like different things, and Alice's crap sub is Barbara's fun playmate is Cecily's dream boyfriend is Delilah's absolute nightmare. (2) the ecosystem, or at least its parts, especially online, ESPECIALLY in kink specific places like FL is dominated by very loud and very online femdom voices who don't necessarily reflect the population -- and I mean neither of wider "in the wild" femdoms nor "kink scene" femdoms.
It's not unfortunate unless you consider yourself a Universal Crapsub (= bad partner in every sense). Because if that ratio is do skewed towards universally obviously undesirable men, then the BAR IS REALLY LOW.
Unless of course you're not looking for an already kinky woman with her own kinky needs, who has as much stake as you (generic you) in finding a partner but a vanilla woman with dominant tendencies who will "use" your kink kinda "against you" and get non-kinky things out of the dynamic.
But if your essential sexual preference is "dominant" you simply cannot "just give it up and go vanilla" because it's hard to find a partner. Unless you're at least seriously bisexual, you can't just "give it up and become lesbian" because the world is full of "crap men" (those some tried for political reasons).
Such giving up is an option only for women for whom kink is an add-on, an extra, or a feature of a specific relationship with a submissive man, women go "go domme" when encountering such a man (I'm not saying that there aren't many women like that btw).
It's simply not an option for women who seek submissive men as an essential requirement.
But maybe they retreat from toxic spaces, regroup, and try somewhere different? Maybe some of them go dormant. Maybe, the less compelled ones sigh and *do* decide to have another go at vanilla. Individual hiatuses add up to become a drop in numbers.
Conversely, if the femdom dating environment is a positive one, maybe the women who would be dommes "with the right sub" drift in from the edged.
I sorta skipped the numbers part. But I think the gist holds anyway. The biggest issue with the "police the ecosystem" idea is that (1) people like different things, and Alice's crap sub is Barbara's fun playmate is Cecily's dream boyfriend is Delilah's absolute nightmare. (2) the ecosystem, or at least its parts, especially online, ESPECIALLY in kink specific places like FL is dominated by very loud and very online femdom voices who don't necessarily reflect the population -- and I mean neither of wider "in the wild" femdoms nor "kink scene" femdoms.
Agreed. I was thinking more policing the meta - general behaviour and perhaps reality-based expectations.
I suspect the crapsub : sub ratio is much higher unfortunately.
It's not unfortunate unless you consider yourself a Universal Crapsub (= bad partner in every sense). Because if that ratio is do skewed towards universally obviously undesirable men, then the BAR IS REALLY LOW.
Unless of course you're not looking for an already kinky woman with her own kinky needs, who has as much stake as you (generic you) in finding a partner but a vanilla woman with dominant tendencies who will "use" your kink kinda "against you" and get non-kinky things out of the dynamic.
I think you missed his point: high crapsub ratios cause the Dommes to just give up and go vanilla.
Regardless, I'm married to mine. I just wish women didn't have to swim in so much filth.
But if your essential sexual preference is "dominant" you simply cannot "just give it up and go vanilla" because it's hard to find a partner. Unless you're at least seriously bisexual, you can't just "give it up and become lesbian" because the world is full of "crap men" (those some tried for political reasons).
Such giving up is an option only for women for whom kink is an add-on, an extra, or a feature of a specific relationship with a submissive man, women go "go domme" when encountering such a man (I'm not saying that there aren't many women like that btw).
It's simply not an option for women who seek submissive men as an essential requirement.
But maybe they retreat from toxic spaces, regroup, and try somewhere different? Maybe some of them go dormant. Maybe, the less compelled ones sigh and *do* decide to have another go at vanilla. Individual hiatuses add up to become a drop in numbers.
Conversely, if the femdom dating environment is a positive one, maybe the women who would be dommes "with the right sub" drift in from the edged.