Great companion piece to the earlier restacked article on consent and its limitations in BDSM, this time for dynamics that are not contained within the bdsm scene or a bdsm scene.
The off-piste metaphor is powerful, and makes it clear why 'common sense' rules don't apply to your or everyone's context.
I particularly appreciate the reflection on experience and self-knowledge, how things you cherish now like BDSM could have been 'dangerous' then, because you are now better equipped to approach them.
It emphasizes self-knowledge and invites caution without fuss: you've seen bad when you were inexperienced, and yet you survived, to tell us about what good and experienced look like.
Also valuable is the emphasis on consent and its revocability 'at different levels' (scene vs relationship) that is often difficult to articulate.
I spend a lot of time on this substack thinking about how femdom works "in the wild", outside the BDSM community, especially with people who don't generally discuss sex in depth.
Ari-Chase Ramos wrote a good article on this as well https://arichaseramos.substack.com/p/what-neil-gaiman-has-in-common-with
Great companion piece to the earlier restacked article on consent and its limitations in BDSM, this time for dynamics that are not contained within the bdsm scene or a bdsm scene.
Thanks for this!
The off-piste metaphor is powerful, and makes it clear why 'common sense' rules don't apply to your or everyone's context.
I particularly appreciate the reflection on experience and self-knowledge, how things you cherish now like BDSM could have been 'dangerous' then, because you are now better equipped to approach them.
It emphasizes self-knowledge and invites caution without fuss: you've seen bad when you were inexperienced, and yet you survived, to tell us about what good and experienced look like.
Also valuable is the emphasis on consent and its revocability 'at different levels' (scene vs relationship) that is often difficult to articulate.
All with a personal touch. Well done!
Thanks! I am pleased with the piste metaphor.
I spend a lot of time on this substack thinking about how femdom works "in the wild", outside the BDSM community, especially with people who don't generally discuss sex in depth.