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SkinShallow's avatar

I like this. But all the stuff about careers and detached four bedroom houses is also fucking depressing, and in a way even more so from the dominant pov.

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Giles English's avatar

Yes, can't be helped though.

Though it needn't be all about conventional career. Perhaps the thing is to have a profession that lets you live somewhere cheap.

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SkinShallow's avatar

What I'm saying is something different I think: that you seem to be implying (and yes, it's by implication/extension) that being a dominant also requires a well off / wealthy economics and career.

And of course in some ways you are right, in the sense that IF sheer survival is the main focus of your life, then anything that goes beyond that is unsustainable. And that includes kink as extra, kink as a hobby. For the same reason going to the gym, or pursuing any creative interest.

I've heard an interesting comment recently, which was that only people in the bottom and top 20% socioeconomically had any real freedom to do what they wanted. The rest were stuck in the endless soul destroying toil.

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Giles English's avatar

This is, of course, 12 Rules for *Malesub* Life, so basically I'm telling young malesubs to get their shit together and mature ones not to ignore their careers. I also mean to imply that when taking decisions *as part of a couple*, the malesub needs to keep an eye on creating space and time and energy. Whether all this also applies to dominants? Some of the time... I don't know.

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Edward Jones's avatar

Living a genuine private life with the woman you love and worship takes HARD work for many decades.No one owes you anything.Hard work and careful planning make a great relationship epic.You must Work for the pleasures in life.A Female led Relationship requires this of you.Their are No free lunches.YOU must do the hard part first.

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Giles English's avatar

Yes. Exactly!

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Crystal Conners's avatar

Do you mean a FemDom lifestyle includes things like real life? Oh, My! (smiles)

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Giles English's avatar

I think people feel they need to compartmentalise, and there's this puritan streak in BDSM culture that seems to demand that everything should be a simulation.

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